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Posts Tagged ‘things I have been divorced over’

Ok, so, you’re on your own in the flat. And you’re standing in the kitchen and washing the dishes. And you have the radio on so you’re singing away, doing the Axl Rose impression you hadn’t busted out since I was you were 12.
So anyway, the wife comes in, and you don’t hear the front door bang ’cause your blastin’ out Welcome to the Jungle, and you’re a rock star, and you’re in concert, and that spatula is a mike and every bubble in the Fairy soap suds is the face of an adoring fan, and it gets to the bit where Axl starts moaning (Axl, you dog…), and for a fraction of a second you hesitate, but then you join in with that bit too, right? Because you’re on your own and besides, Axl wouldn’t let down those soap suds with a half-assed performance…

Right?

Ok, it really is just me.

The point is that finding out you aren’t alone is a shock.

The divorce papers? Less so.

And that’s why Axl Rose should be bloody sorry.

– The Apologist (now just an urchin livin’ under street)

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